Puppies, Fish and Family!

Oh my goodness! It has been so hectic around our household the past month that I have not had a chance to update and for that, I am sorry! This is what has been happening. My oldest son is in the Army National Guard and his unit got mobilization orders for deployment to Afghanistan. He is scheduled to leave in October, 2012, however, he has a few "specialized training schools" he has to go to before and they are two weeks long each so, as a result, he has had to withdrawal from college and move back home in preparation for this deployment. SO, I have another human living in my house. Takes some getting used to and we are doing our best to merge cohesively in and out of the house. Now, to add to this, he also brought with him .................a puppy!

------*NAHLA*-----

Now what on green earth does he need with a puppy? Well his girlfriend felt that she needed something "to snuggle with" while he was gone so, me being the animal lover (and sucker) agreed to help raise this puppy for the time being. I have been putting in time potty training her and teaching her commands and how to behave and how to sleep in her crate and keeping a constant vigil on her and taking her to the vet and she is becoming a very good puppy! The flip side? In May, the puppy will be leaving us to go live with the girlfriend. So essentially, I do all the hard work and they get to reap the rewards of that hard work! I have figured that this is OK, because someday they are going to give me grandchildren and that is when the payback begins....WUA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (evil laugh). 

Now since oldest son is back from college for a few months before he deploys, everyone is trying to get special-lets-make-as-many-memories-as-we-can time with him. So yesterday, my dad took both the boys fishing. They do this every year and it is always a good time and they are just happy to spend the time together. While said men are fishing, my hubby and I decided to go down to the farm and check on the conditions. As we were heading back home, I got this call:

Mom: "hello"
Youngest son: "mom! We cought-supper-where-is-the -fillet-knife-when-are-you-gonna-be-home-i-put-the fish- in -our- fish- pond- so -when- you- get- home -we- can- kill- them- and- eat- them!"
Mom: "are you kidding me? We don't know how to fillet fish! I thought you were gonna catch and release like always?"
Youngest son: "Well, Bubby (oldest son) and I thought we would learn tonight so we brought home four bass and a blue gill"
Mom: "(deep sigh) well get everything set up and we will start this project. We are on our way home."

So this is a little glimpse into my life. We filleted the fish. It took about two hours for them to fillet five fish. The kids watched a video on YouTube and did a pretty darn good job! I was very proud of them and the fish was absolutely amazing! I have never had that fresh of fish. Four hours between catching to table! That is pretty darn fresh!

 Ryan, the one trained in survival was the most effective:

 Connor is learning his "supervisor" role and takes it very seriously!

Here is the result: wonderfully fresh bass and blue gill.  It was fantastic!

We were done with supper at 9:30pm  It was well worth the memories that we created!

Cookies gone awry....

I don't bake. I love to cook, but I do not like to bake. At Christmastime, I do get the "Suzy-homemaker" bug and make an attempt of being "one of those" moms. You know, the ones who are organized, bake cookies and do it all with a smile on their faces. A few years back, I was attempting to bake cut-out cookies. I used snowmen, bells, ornaments and crosses. All symbols of Christmas, right? Well, as God as my witness, the cookies below were supposed to be crosses.  Didn't turn out so well, huh?

I REALLY wanted to ice them but I didn't know anyone having a bachelorette party so they were disposed of, after taking the picture, of course! I hope this made you giggle.

It's just a bad day, not a bad life.

I saw a quote today from http://fireandice-sugarandspice.tumblr.com/post/11800495070/inspite-of-everything-its-still-a-good-life that read :

This hit home with me. I have a tendency to fall into the "if no one else will give me a pity-party then I'll give myself one" mode more often than not. There is just something about giving into the FMS pain and fatigue that is overwhelming and really can play an evil trick on your work ethic and your general attitude towards life. It is hard to convey to those that love and support me the up-and-down-day-to-day- bipolar-ness FMS creates. My husband has a hard time understanding how one day (usually the day he is NOT home), I feel good and get a lot done and even have the energy for a DIY project and then the next day, (usually when he IS home) I am exhausted, fatigued, in pain, can't convey a single thought in my head and dealing with anxiety attacks all day long. It is hard to understand this chronic condition, as a patient, nurse and even trying to understand it from the outside looking in. I have really been struggling with letting go of what I used to be able to do and trying to create a new list of tasks and interests that I can do. I miss hanging out in the shed with my husband and boys watching them do "guy stuff" in the middle of winter with the space heater on and music blaring. I can't handle the "cold-to-the-bone" anymore. I pay the penance for a long while and I have to decide if it is worth it. If I have to work a 12 hour shift the next day, then, no, it is not worth it. I hate having to choose between spending time with my family like I used to versus being well enough to continue to do my job, which is being an ICU Nurse. Being a nurse is my lifeline. It gets me up and going and keeps me sharp. When my "Fibro-Fog" attacked me like crocodile had death-rolled me to the bottom of the river, I was scared out of my mind. How can I continue to do what I love if I can't even pull it together to do a bedside procedure with a doctor? I was scared. Luckily, my Rheumatologist understood what I was experiencing and was willing to prescribe me a medication that would help: Ritalin. Yep. The ADD medication. It has helped but I still have my "moments". I am trying to adjust to taking a handful of medications every morning and a few more at night. I am trying to adjust to giving up control of some of the work around the house. I am trying to not feel guilty about laying in bed the day after working two 12 hours shifts. I am trying to accept this new life. It is not a bad life, it is just a different life. I feel I have, in a sense, been grieving the loss of my old life, and now I need to pull my big girl panties up and create a new life; one that is accepting of the limitations FMS demands, but one that also allows me to explore other avenues that I wouldn't have before FMS.  So, the above saying has given me a renewed strength. I realize that my life is a gift and a blessing and just because Fibro may have won the battle one day, doesn't mean it has won the war. I have a wonderful life and Fibro can go suck it!  Amen.

The Crocodile represents Fibromyalgia...........

The Hippo's represent those with Fibromyalgia!!!

DIY Success???

I have been attempting to tap into my creative side over the past couple of months and here are a few of the projects I have deemed a success! I was bored with the living room and I wanted some color in my life. Painting the walls right now is not an option so I figured out other places to add color.  What started this whole transformation was finding the Lime Green curtains on clearance at TJ Max for $5.00 a panel! What a bargain, right? So, the next task was to find an accent pattern.  I went to a local shop where the shop owner has every pattern of fabric you could imagine. So this is what I chose.....bright, vibrant, colorful, and it just screamed "Jennifer". I originally thought of this fabric for throw pillows on the couch but once I evaluated my space, I decided the pop of color would better be used on the lampshades, against the white walls.  One of the lampshades, I trimmed with black ribbon and the other one I left untrimmed.  I think they turned out nicely.  The green lampshade is covered with paint chip samples from a local store. I simply hot glued them on, trimmed the edges with black ribbon and there you have it, a one and a half hour project that transforms a room!

 Note:  We got these lamps as wedding gifts 18 years ago. They used to be brass, like all the home interiors stuff was back then, but a few years ago, I simply bought a can of Rustoleum hammered black finish spray paint and completely transformed the look of these tired old lamps. I love spray paint and the instant makeover it can provide to a variety of projects!

This is my attempt at "art". It is two pices of foam poster board hot glued together with artificial flowers glued to it. I put adhesive velcro squares on the corners and slapped it on the wall and there you go, instant color and art!

Unbelievable pain......

I thought I had pain in the past. The pain I am feeling today completely puts all other pain to shame. With my FMS, I have most of my pain in my forearms. They say if you use the muscles and loosen them up, it helps, so that is why I am even attempting to type this blog today. Today is the first day I have literally cried because the pain is so bad. I worked two 12 hour shifts this weekend, I have to work eight hours today and eight hours tomorrow. This is the first time I have ever seriously considered filing for intermittent FMLA for my FMS. I am a hot mess this morning. This is the not-so-pretty side of dealing with a chronic illness, not that there is a pretty side, anyways! I have applied my eye makeup twice and the anxiety I am feeling is overwhelming. I can't take narcotics for the pain or Benzo's for my anxiety because I am going to work so pretty much, I'm f*cked. This is one of those days where I wish I had something witty and funny to post but at this point, this is all I can do. Sorry folks, I don't mean to be a "Debbie-Downer" but this was one of the reasons I wanted to do this blog, to show everyone the daily life of someone with FMS and how it affects the daily activities of living. I hope all of you have a blessed day and I will try to do the same.

My dog is a human?

My dog Ripley is an Australian Cattle Dog. They have a reputation for picking one famiy member and claiming them as their own. I am Ripley's human. He follows me everywhere and does anything I ask of him.  I have another dog, Zues, who is a German Shepherd that we rescued. He loves all of us in the family and is fiercely protective of all of us. Zues knows he is a dog. When I come outside, he waits for his commands before showing affection, playing, ect. When Ripley is around, Zues could care less about humans and wants to play with the other "dog", Ripley.  However, Ripley usually looks at me with disgust and the look on his face reads "why does this "dog" always want to play? Does he not know I have important "human" things to do with you instead?" So my husband and I have tried over the years to explain to Ripley that he is, in fact, not a human and is, indeed a dog.  Well, in light of this information, Ripley has tried over the years to prove otherwise. He has expressions and head tilts that clearing conveys he understands the English language. He has emotions and his feelings get hurt very easily. My husband and youngest child like to call him "Swilly" and this clearly upsets Ripley.  Now, when we have been gone for extended periods of time and haven't been able to get home to let him outside to poop, he does the most unusual thing......he poops in the shower.  This dog hates the shower and hates to get a bath and I have to force him into the tub. Why would a "dog" who hates the shower choose this place to poop when he can't go outside? Obviously, Ripley has deductive reasoning, which is only a human characteristic. He has figured out a "safe" place to do his business. He has figured out that this is the room where humans poop and he can't sit on the toilet so the bathtub is easy to clean and disinfect, won't stain,  and the smell is contained in a room that has an exhaust fan. Genious! At this point, I am startting to think that maybe he is a human and this dog thing is just a cover-up for somthing bigger. OK, maybe not, but this is one smart dog. Knowing how smart Ripley is, one would think that the next genious human act he preforms wouldn't suprise me, right? Wrong. He has gone and done something else that once again, proves he wants to be a human.  My husband got home from work today and called for me to come into the bathroom. He stated "I swear this wasn't me!" and I look down and what do I see? The evidence that Ripley has hiked his leg up to the toilet and pissed in the toilet, (and on the toilet, and on the rug, and on the floor....) but the fact is, he is trying to be a human! I din't know weather to scold him or praise him......so I did both. Kinda like when your child wanders off and when you find them, you are so mad, yet, happy at the same time....it was kinda like that! So, Ripley was sent outside to play with Zues, and I am sure he is wishing he could, instead, sit on the deck with a beer in his paw and his human right beside him.

Family and Food Go Hand-in-Hand

Family is everything to me. My youngest is finally over his mono and my oldest is home from college for the weekend. They both have girlfriends and they have been here over the weekend so I have had a full house...and love it! My house is a mess; laundry needs done,  dishes are in the sink, blankets scattered all over, and my ACD is a nervous wreck making sure everyone is "herded" all together. I haven't cooked a meal, we have survived on pizza and whatever the kids have fixed and the world did not come to an end because mom didn't cook. Nobody starved to death, thank goodness! However, I did promise I would fix lasagna sometime while they were here so that is my mission for the day. This is a tried-and-true recipe the whole family likes so if it isn't broken, don't fix it!

Classic  Creamette Lasagna


Preheat oven to 375°. Cook sausage for 20 minutes, drain fat, cut into small pieces and set aside. Cook Lasagna strips according to package directions for parboiling. Put drained strips in single layer on sheet of wax paper until ready to proceed with recipe. In a large bowl mix together the ricotta cheese, egg, parsley flakes, nutmeg, sugar, salt and pepper to taste. To assemble Lasagna – pour 1 1/3 cups sauce in bottom of 9x13-inch dish, then a layer of Lasagna strips, ½ of the ricotta cheese mixture, mozzarella cubes and sausage and another layer of Lasagna strips. Repeat layers ending with final 1 1/3 cups of sauce. Sprinkle with ½ cup Parmesan cheese. Cover with aluminum foil and bake in 375° oven for 30 minutes. Remove foil and bake for 15 more minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes before cutting. Refrigerate leftovers. 4 to 6 servings. To Parboil: Bring 4 quarts of water to a boil, add 1 tablespoon salt (optional). Cook 7 or 8 strips of Lasagna at a time for 6-8 minutes. Occasionally stir gently to keep strips from sticking together. Remove with slotted spoon and put in cold water to stop cooking action. Strips can be kept in cold water or drained and put in single layer on a sheet of wax paper until ready to proceed with recipe.



Ingredients:

1 (8-ounce) package Lasagna

1 (26-ounce) jar Pasta Sauce

1 pound Italian sausage

2 (15-ounce) container ricotta cheese

1 egg, beaten

1 tablespoon parsley flakes

¼ teaspoon nutmeg

1 teaspoon sugar

Salt and pepper to taste

1 cup mozzarella cheese

½ cup Parmesan cheese

Co-wink-e-dink or a higher power?

I have been married to the same wonderful man forever. You would think that we have talked about it all, covered all topics; politics, religion, drugs, sex, society ect.... you get the picture. But apparently, there are topics we haven't covered in our 18 years together. Now, that being said, fast-forward to yesterday at work. I work in the ICU at our local hospital and we have a calico of characters that also work in the ICU. We all vary in ages from twenty-somethings all the way up to fifty-somethings, so quite frequently, us "older" ones share memories about our childhood that the "youngers" simply don't understand. Case in point: Yesterday we were discussing childhood television shows and, of course, you can't talk about your childhood without bringing up Sesame Street. We were fondly remembering the little "Yip-Yip" martians that were trying to figure out the telephone. Remeber that one? They were blue and red and, as a kid, really freaked me out! They scared me. I'm not ashamed to say it. Their lower jaw had the ability to go completely verticle and cover their eyeballs! What little kid wouln't be freaked? So, getting back to the conversation in the ICU, it competely amazed me that the younger generation that was present had absolutly no clue what we were talking about. So, in my best martian voice, I demonstrated the skit. Now anyone that knows me, knows this is completely normal behavior for me. I enjoy an audience and where some people have a "filter", I don't, so I just put it all out there for all to see! Needless to say, after this short demonstration of the skit, in which I truly did not do it justice, the youngers still had absolutly no idea what I was talking about. So what does this have to do my marriage? I was sitting here at the computer this morning enjoying my cup of joe when my husband comes into the room and askes me look up www.weatherspark.com I have no idea how the conversation turned, but my husband, out of nowhere, starts going "yip-yip-yip-yip" just like those little martians on Sesame Street! Then he says "I bet you don't know what that is off of do ya?" Talk about freaky-deaky! We have never talked about those little martians in all of 18 married years and the day after I have a lengthy conversation at work about them, he brings it up? Co-wink-e-dink? I think not. Now I just have to figure out the conncection to these little blue and red creatures and why, all of a sudden, they have become front and center in my life. Ahhhh, the mysteries of life! For those of you readers who have no idea what I am talking about.......enjoy!

I'm not your "hun"

I had my quarterly check-up today in Indy with my Fibro Doctor. Now, I hate to drive in traffic that I am unfamiliar with, like big cities and roads with more than two lanes. I have panic attacks from just the thought of driving in Chicago, St. Louis and Indy. Now this particular drive really doesn't bother me so much because you drive straight and I-74 turns into Crawfordsville Rd. and you just drive straight until you turn left and voila', you are there! Um, ya, not so much today. I knew there was construction but I had no idea they were completely taking my route and twisting it up like a pretzel! As a result, I got lost. Well, not really lost, I knew where I was, but I also knew this is not where I needed to be at this time. I had ended up on 465-south. Five words: FOUR LANES LOTS OF VEHICLES........URGH! My Panic-o-meter was in the red, folks and I had two choices; 1. Stay calm, find the nearest exit, turn around and you shall get there or 2. Close my eyes, practice my meditation breathing exercises, go to my mental "happy place" and this shall pass. What did I do, you ask? Well, I combined my two choices, turned around, called the Dr. office for direction, focused on my breathing and called my mother to blame this all on her. If she was here in the midwest during this icy, frigid winter instead of in warm, beautiful Florida on the beach, she would have gone with me and this all would have been avoided, right? Just kidding, I don't blame my mom, I just miss the heck out her adn that seemed like a good excuse! Anyhow, my Dr. increased my medication (oh goody....NOT) and I have to call him with an update in 2 weeks. The whole point of this ranting is this: FMS makes a young body feel old and makes a thirty-something brain think it has Alzheimers. So, as a Fibro-fighter, I try to keep my appearnces up when going out, I like to wear nice, age-appropriate clothing, my handbags are always in style so when I ran an errand at a local store upon returning home, I felt like, honestly, I was the hottest chick in the store. Now anyone with fibro knows that these days of feeling "hot" are few and far between, so when they do happen, you take full advantage of them. I was feeling like a rockstar as I checked out at the counter. A young man, roughly 19-20 years old waited on me. He called me "hun" four times. Now, the first time he said it, it was flattering....but by the time he said it the fourth time, I knew it was not intended as I had taken it.....it was condesending and degrading. So in my authoratative voice I explained to him that I do not appreciate being called "hun", I am a paying customer and deserve respect, not degradation, and as I was leaving the store, I told the young man, "Remember this from now on, Sonny!" and grabbed my walker, fumbled with my keys, put my glasses on and drove home!

Notice the change?

I decided to change the name of my blog due to possible trademark infrigments. I didn't have permission to use the title in the context that it was intended and really didn't want to be served legal papers in the near future. I thought long and hard about the motive behind this blog and really determined that this is a therapeutic outlet for me so you will see a little about my home life, my work life and my fibro life. So this is why I have a new look and a new address. www.fibro-fighter.blogspot.com